Curse your sudden, yet inevitable betrayal!

I came home after work today to discover that my Wii Fit thought I had gained 3 pounds back from the 4 it claimed I lost yesterday.

I think my weight gauge is going to require a new method of measuring. My scale in the bathroom is stupid (seriously, I don't get it), so I think I'll do my Wii Fit body test in the morning to get a stable weight change chart, and I'll work out after school/work as I would normally.

So for today, I'll call it a wash. I have a warm kitten on my leg, and all is well. Plus, I shot virtual wildebeest at a bar and ate a chicken salad for dinner, so I hope I didn't do too poorly for myself.

I don't know what my mindset is, in all of this. I run into a few problems:

• I lose weight slower than most people. This isn't a huge issue so much as it is frustrating and endangering to my motivation and endurance through the struggles of turning down "bad" food and embracing motion and sweating and work. I don't see as much of a payoff from it as normal people would, and that leads to more cheating and more apathy in the long run. I can't afford that now.
• Along the same vein - I hate exercise and sweat. Sweat makes my skin break out in hives if I don't wash it off immediately. I wish I was kidding. Sweat + dust = misery for me, so cleaning is enough of a chore. But extended amounts of exercise can end up hurting me, around my knees and waistband mostly. It's a minor whine, I know, and something I'll have to just cope with, but it's an easy excuse to not exercise, trust me.
• I haven't lost anything in a month and a half. This also goes along both veins - I want weight loss to happen, even if it's gradual. I want to be healthier, but on my terms. I cannot abide "diets," because the second you change your eating habits from whatever you had been doing, all of your progress goes down the drain. And I know I'm not going to be able to keep up a regimen that would require more than 30 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. That's pushing it. So I just wish my body would work with me. I'm trying, and nothing is happening. I don't want to have to push myself to the point of agony, because I wouldn't be happy, and I wouldn't keep it up. The goal is to be healthier AND happier.

At any rate... I think I'll just have to relax and take it as it comes. If I can't lose weight being healthy, at least I'll be healthy and comfortable with my life.

Fiance told me today... after I complained that he didn't seem enthused or supportive of my complaints and struggles with this new lifestyle, that he wanted me to be happy. He thinks I'm beautiful as I am, and wants this to work out if it will make me happy, but he doesn't like that I'm unhappy by the lack of progress... if that makes sense.

It was very touching at the moment, at any rate. And it lends hope to those who haven't found someone who can see past the pounds to the person underneath. Heck, he's not a delicate flower himself, but he's joining me on the attempts to eat better, so that means a lot.

Anyway. Sleep time beckons and I've written way too much on a diet/lifestyle blog.